Change-ability tip #21 is also the title of the wonderful 16 minute video below: Validation. “Validation” is defined as an official mark of approval or worthiness… meeting the requirements or standard. To feel validated as a person is to receive acknowledgement of our value and worth. As we go through our day we have many opportunities to “validate” our family members, neighbours, and co-workers. And of course, receiving validation can make all the difference in how we experience our day. Validation creates the positive emotions and self-esteem so essential for facing change. Watch this short video for a wonderful demonstration of validation at work.

Nurturing contentment fosters future change-ability

Kernel: Nurturing joy, interest and contentment = strength, resilience and well-being

According to psychologist, Barbara Fredrickson, “Cultivating positive emotions produces an upward spiral that not only counteracts negative emotions but also broadens habitual modes of thinking and acting and builds personal resources for coping.”

Negative emotions narrow a person’s repertoire of thoughts and actions, Fredrickson explains. “This effect is clearly adaptive in life-threatening situations that require quick action to survive.” Positive emotions broaden and expand this thought-action repertoire. Over time, this broadening creates an “upward spiral” which builds personal strength, resilience, and well-being.

Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory applies to three distinct positive emotions—joy, interest, and contentment. “Joy creates the urge to play and be playful in the broadest sense of the word … encompassing not only physical and social play, but also intellectual and artistic play.” Even though it is often aimless, play has several reliable outcomes, including strengthening friendships and attachments, and developing physical and cognitive skills.

Relaxation therapies, including imagery exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and meditation, are effective, she maintains, because they cultivate the positive emotion of contentment.

Read more at: “Happiness, joy and other positive emotions”
University of Michigan Press Release (May 9, 2000)

Barbara Fredrickson at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

Fredrickson’s blog: Positivity: Insights from Science on the Art of Living

Fredrickson’s recent book: Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive (Random House: Toronto, 2009)